What I hate the most

Is when everyone always wants you to tell them your problems
They want you to open up to them

But then as soon as you vent to them, they view you as negative energy
Or like it is hard for you to be happy or someone to make you happy

But you told me I can vent to you....

that is why i tend to keep stuff to myself
Close friends, loved ones and associates alike

Stress

Im realllllly trying my hardest to stay positive
like really really really trying to be positive
looking at every thing and trying to find something beautiful about it

And then theres Howard

I wish I would have listened to my ma when she said I should transfer to another school.
But of course being the optimist, I decided to stay.

A year later, I hate my decision
Like I can truly say Ive never regretted a decision in my life until now
And that takes a helluva lot for me to admit
because usually I take every choice I make as a learning lesson that will some how benefit me in some kind a way

However

I dont see Howard will benefit me
I hate it here (Minus the folks Ive met)

I never dwell on the past with the should could wouldas
But now i know

i shoulda transferred to another school
I coulda transferred but I thought I knew what was best
I woulda transferred to another school if I woulda listened


Ive been in worse situations, lights turned off, little food in the house, heat turned off etc
Yet I handled each and every situation with strength

But this
This is most certainly a battle I dont think I can fight and win with
I

I want to leave Howard!!!!!!!!1

errr so they decide to raise tuition AGAIN
this time by 2300

So now I have to figure out how to pay for this current semester
Pay for summer school because the Howard doesnt offer enough classes that are required for my major, they always fill up quick
Pay for an apartment
Pay for this up and coming school year




FUCK

But itll happen
I dont care how
But it WILL

Gluten Free Diet

So I spoke to my doctor the last month
And he encouraged me to go on a gluten free diet

Sounds easy right? I didn't know where to start, what I can and can't eat.

GOOGLE!!!

I loved all the information I found.
I was almost already following a gluten free diet.

ACCEPTABLE FOODS
Beans, seeds, nuts in their natural, unprocessed form
Fresh eggs
Fresh meats, fish and poultry (not breaded, batter-coated or marinated)
Fruits and vegetables
Most dairy products

Always avoid
Avoid all food and drinks containing:

Barley (malt, malt flavoring and malt vinegar are usually made from barley)
Rye
Triticale (a cross between wheat and rye)
Wheat
Fries


And here's when my problem comes in.

I am an addict to wheat, fries and fried (breaded) meat.
I've given up enough food that I love (pork, most dairy products[lactose intolerant], red meats and sugar)

I feel like in the end, I wont be able to eat anything but salads

Im Back!!!

I've been M.I.A. lately because of this new semester

Everything has been pretty great minus these few Fibro Flares
But Ive been finding ways to get through it
With no medication!
Its hard but I know its the only thing I can do to feel better

I'm ready!

I'm bringing back my flute and my sketches back with me to DC

I'm going back to doing stuff I love!!

:)

This convo>>>>

But I'm willing to fall
I may fall hard
I may get hurt
But I'm willing to take that step