Trying to convince your friends that you are not drinking alcohol for New Year's Eve and New Year's day...
It's not because I can't handle my alcohol (even though I hate the taste)
I am just trying to avoid having the worst fibro flare up in the world!!!
Fibromyalgia and alcohol DO NOT mix
In any way shape or form!!!!!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Big Accomplishment!
I washed the dishes today.....
IN ONE STANDING!!!
I didn't even think about sitting down
I even played with my youngest nephew today
(that took the energy out of me though)
But I feel accomplished!
The Spoon Theory
Yes, it may sound really strange
But it has got to be the BEST way to describe living with a chronic illness to those who are living with out it
LONG READ FYI!!!
The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino
Please take the time to read Christine Miserandino’s personal story and analogy of what it is like to live with sickness or disability.
The Spoon Theory
by Christine Miserandino www.butyoudontlooksick.com
My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.
As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?
I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.
As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.
At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.
I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.
Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.
She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?
I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.
I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.
I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.
We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.
When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.
I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”
Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.
After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”
Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.
© Christine Miserandino
*We have English, Spanish, French and Hebrew translations of “The Spoon Theory” available.
But it has got to be the BEST way to describe living with a chronic illness to those who are living with out it
LONG READ FYI!!!
The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino
Please take the time to read Christine Miserandino’s personal story and analogy of what it is like to live with sickness or disability.
The Spoon Theory
by Christine Miserandino www.butyoudontlooksick.com
My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.
As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?
I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.
As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.
At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.
I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.
Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.
She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?
I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.
I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.
I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.
We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.
When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.
I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”
Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.
After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”
Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.
© Christine Miserandino
*We have English, Spanish, French and Hebrew translations of “The Spoon Theory” available.
Cane shopping!
Just bought a cane!
lol
at first I refused to even consider buying a cane
But I finally came to my senses
I need thy beautiful cane!!!
I'm going to feel old though
lol
at first I refused to even consider buying a cane
But I finally came to my senses
I need thy beautiful cane!!!
I'm going to feel old though
Fibro nights and mornings #1
I fell a sleep around 1AM
Just to wake up at 3AM
wide awake
and in pain
.............
Just to wake up at 3AM
wide awake
and in pain
.............
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Seriously though
My ass and thighs reallllllllllllllly hurt
like i cant stay still type hurt but when i move I still hurt, type hurt
and it has moved to my right cheek now
like i cant stay still type hurt but when i move I still hurt, type hurt
and it has moved to my right cheek now
Hot Flashes!
oh yea
Im 20 years old
But I HAVE THE MOST RIDICULOUS HOT FLASHES IN THE WORLD!!!
lol
like seriously
Most folks would dread Wisconsin winters because of the cold
I gladly step outside when its 20 degrees with no coat on
Its the quickest remedy to hot flashes
But then I have to deal with the cold chills that quickly follow the hot flashes
So i run under the cover and wrap it around me
But....
Then I have a hot flash AGAIN...
and this would all happen in the matter of literally 5 minutes or less
I feel like an menopausal woman!!!!
Im 20 years old
But I HAVE THE MOST RIDICULOUS HOT FLASHES IN THE WORLD!!!
lol
like seriously
Most folks would dread Wisconsin winters because of the cold
I gladly step outside when its 20 degrees with no coat on
Its the quickest remedy to hot flashes
But then I have to deal with the cold chills that quickly follow the hot flashes
So i run under the cover and wrap it around me
But....
Then I have a hot flash AGAIN...
and this would all happen in the matter of literally 5 minutes or less
I feel like an menopausal woman!!!!
Pain
Did I say how much my ASS HURTS!
its hurts from the upper left side ass cheek all the way to the mid thigh
ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I'd imagine this is what it feels like when a car runs over your leg
its hurts from the upper left side ass cheek all the way to the mid thigh
ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I'd imagine this is what it feels like when a car runs over your leg
No Meds!!!
I'm like the only person with fibro that doesn't take any prescribed/ over the counter medication.
I stopped taking any type of medication for the past 2/3 months
It has definitely been hard to deal with the pain
but i can honestly say that I can manage it better with out any type of medication
I'm proud of myself!
I stopped taking any type of medication for the past 2/3 months
It has definitely been hard to deal with the pain
but i can honestly say that I can manage it better with out any type of medication
I'm proud of myself!
Funny Fibro Moment
I was going to go wake up my brother to yell at him for losing the remote
(I had the remote last)
Turns out I put it in the refrigerator!
Sadly...........
this normal!!! LMBO
it has happened more than enough
Not only is that common
But i also have a habit of putting my phone is drawers or simply losing it
And my books, hard cover big, thick books!
I've lost food too
tsk tsk
(I had the remote last)
Turns out I put it in the refrigerator!
Sadly...........
this normal!!! LMBO
it has happened more than enough
Not only is that common
But i also have a habit of putting my phone is drawers or simply losing it
And my books, hard cover big, thick books!
I've lost food too
tsk tsk
No sleep!!!!
Haven't been to sleep because the left leg and ass cheek (lol) feels like some decided to stomp on it (no lol)
But on the bright side
I have fruits!!!
But on the bright side
I have fruits!!!
Google!
I never though in a million years I would be googling how to be at peace with oneself
LOL
seriously
I'm so used to having all the answers to everyone's problems, including my own
Now I'm at a road block
What scares me the most is the thought that I haven't even hit rock bottom yet..
But this, right now, is the furthest I will let myself fall.
I am a winner
Always have been always will
I just needed an eye opener
It taught me that I can't be a perfectionist anymore
That I can't continue to make everyone my first priority
I cant please everyone
I cant make everyone happy
I hate having to live up to this fictional persona that I've been living for these years in front of my family
I want to be able to make mistakes yet have my family still have that support behind me
I have to make me happy first
I have to find something that pleases me
I want to be what is perfect in the eyes of CANDICE
no one else
LOL
seriously
I'm so used to having all the answers to everyone's problems, including my own
Now I'm at a road block
What scares me the most is the thought that I haven't even hit rock bottom yet..
But this, right now, is the furthest I will let myself fall.
I am a winner
Always have been always will
I just needed an eye opener
It taught me that I can't be a perfectionist anymore
That I can't continue to make everyone my first priority
I cant please everyone
I cant make everyone happy
I hate having to live up to this fictional persona that I've been living for these years in front of my family
I want to be able to make mistakes yet have my family still have that support behind me
I have to make me happy first
I have to find something that pleases me
I want to be what is perfect in the eyes of CANDICE
no one else
Can't Fall A Sleep
I hate not being at peace with myself.
It seems like this illness has completely taken over me
My happiness
My relationships with my family, friends and boyfriend
My focus on school
My will to work
My drive to do anything and everything that I love
I remember one time in my life where nothing got in my way.
Where I smiled literally 24/7, even in my sleep!
No one could tell me anything that would bring my spirit down
because I always found something special, something beautiful yet so simple in everything
Now
I'm nothing and everything around me is nothing
I don't hate life and the things that are in it
It's just harder for me to find that simplicity in everything that always made me smile
My love for being around people, even my family has diminished
My love for playing the flute that I played for over 6 years
I haven't picked my flute nor my music up in two years.
My love for art
My oil pastels, my charcoal, my pencil and my eraser
Still all in the closet, it's been that way for 3 years
Nature
Something that I have always have, and still captures my heart
doesn't have my full attention anymore
Those simple slow walks in the woods, around the block
Me admiring everything around me even though I've seen it all
still has my heart
Or maybe that's it
I need to get back
and focus on Nature's energy
I refuse
I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE
to let this illness take over my life and end it so soon
I have way too much to offer and many things I have yet to receive and learn
This negative attitude is not me
It's never been me
I can't and I wont let it run me
Meditation is key!
It seems like this illness has completely taken over me
My happiness
My relationships with my family, friends and boyfriend
My focus on school
My will to work
My drive to do anything and everything that I love
I remember one time in my life where nothing got in my way.
Where I smiled literally 24/7, even in my sleep!
No one could tell me anything that would bring my spirit down
because I always found something special, something beautiful yet so simple in everything
Now
I'm nothing and everything around me is nothing
I don't hate life and the things that are in it
It's just harder for me to find that simplicity in everything that always made me smile
My love for being around people, even my family has diminished
My love for playing the flute that I played for over 6 years
I haven't picked my flute nor my music up in two years.
My love for art
My oil pastels, my charcoal, my pencil and my eraser
Still all in the closet, it's been that way for 3 years
Nature
Something that I have always have, and still captures my heart
doesn't have my full attention anymore
Those simple slow walks in the woods, around the block
Me admiring everything around me even though I've seen it all
still has my heart
Or maybe that's it
I need to get back
and focus on Nature's energy
I refuse
I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE
to let this illness take over my life and end it so soon
I have way too much to offer and many things I have yet to receive and learn
This negative attitude is not me
It's never been me
I can't and I wont let it run me
Meditation is key!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Enough ranting...
On the bright side, this has got to be one of the best days!
Spending time with ALL of my family was the biggest stress reliever.
Just seeing us come together even though we all live on every other side of the country, I was able to see them all with the beautiful smiles on their face
Spending time with ALL of my family was the biggest stress reliever.
Just seeing us come together even though we all live on every other side of the country, I was able to see them all with the beautiful smiles on their face
Making Life easier
The funny thing is I did this before.
The look I got in return was even funnier
"Can you be more specific"
How much more specific can I get? MY BODY FREAKING HURTS!!
This is true fatigue!!!
I've felt like this even after I got more than 9 hours of sleep. No it is not because I am lazy nor is it because I went to sleep too late...
Have you ever had to calculate the time to get ready in the morning along with the time you would take an extra nap after you wake up in the morning just so you can just SIT UP in your bed?
Fibro Guilt
I can 100% relate to this
The guilt you feel because you cancelled plans at the very last second
Many times important plans
Having to cancel going out to eat or to a party or just to chill with someone
JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE EXTREMELY FATIGUED AND/OR IN PAIN
Many people that are close to me have complained about me cancelling plans too late; as if I have control over it
I always come up with some excuse such as having to catch upon work or having to go to work or lying saying I forgot all about it.
The truth is I AM TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM SO TIRED THAT I GET TIRED FROM THINKING ABOUT HOW TIRED I AM
I DONT HAVE ENERGY. I CAN NO LONGER SPARE MORE ENERGY THAN I CAN MAKE
I just simply cant...
But trying to explain to others that you are tired always fail, so thats when the lies become your best friend
I dont want to hear any BS about me being young, being asked why I am always tired or seeing their eyes roll after I tell them I'm tired
I just lie
Its easier
The guilt you feel because you cancelled plans at the very last second
Many times important plans
Having to cancel going out to eat or to a party or just to chill with someone
JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE EXTREMELY FATIGUED AND/OR IN PAIN
Many people that are close to me have complained about me cancelling plans too late; as if I have control over it
I always come up with some excuse such as having to catch upon work or having to go to work or lying saying I forgot all about it.
The truth is I AM TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM SO TIRED THAT I GET TIRED FROM THINKING ABOUT HOW TIRED I AM
I DONT HAVE ENERGY. I CAN NO LONGER SPARE MORE ENERGY THAN I CAN MAKE
I just simply cant...
But trying to explain to others that you are tired always fail, so thats when the lies become your best friend
I dont want to hear any BS about me being young, being asked why I am always tired or seeing their eyes roll after I tell them I'm tired
I just lie
Its easier
YESSS PREACH!!!
I am far from being a violent person. Matter of fact, I am very passive. However, when I fell that someone is trying to disrespect me and call me a liar as in the picture, I really think of a knife going into someones eye
⇩
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It's like people want to make you feel as if you're crazy.
I have been complaining about pains and other symptoms since I was 12....how many sport/socially active 12 year old is going to lie about being in pain all over. In pain to the point where they stop playing sports and participating in other physical activities such as modern dance, soccer, etc?
It's funny how we all feel the same way!
Found this on the internet
It's crazy how much this matches my very experiences and feelings
It's crazy how much this matches my very experiences and feelings
HER DREADS
Have you ever saw something and fell completely in love with it?
I can honestly say, her hair is by far the loveliest thing of Dreadlockdom I have seen in my life!
I don't know her name, but her locks are a true inspiration!!!
I can honestly say, her hair is by far the loveliest thing of Dreadlockdom I have seen in my life!
I don't know her name, but her locks are a true inspiration!!!
Major PETPEEVE!
Another rant about fibromyalgia- MY MOTHER
I don't mind ever helping my ma out as long as I am capable of doing so.
Earlier she asked can I give her a back massage. I told her I would however my leg feels like complete crap. Her remark, "Oh please, you're young. You can just walk it out. I'm old and I could give my mother a massage even if my leg was hurting."
My facial expression
Do you honestly, like really honestly want to piss me off?
WOOOOOOOOOOOSAH CANDICE
Thursday, December 22, 2011
100 Symptoms of Fibromyalgia
X= YES N= NO Extremely
GENERAL
[X] Fatigue, made worse by physical exertion or stress
[X] Activity level decreased to less than 50% of pre-illness activity level
[X] Recurrent flu-like illness
[X] Sore throat
[N] Hoarseness
[X] Tender or swollen lymph nodes (glands), especially in neck and underarms
[X] Shortness of breath (air hunger) with little or no exertion
[X] Frequent sighing
[X] Tremor or trembling
[X] Severe nasal allergies (new allergies or worsening of previous allergies)
[N] Cough
[Y] Night sweats
[Y] Low-grade fevers
[Y] Feeling cold often (Cold Chills)
[Y] Feeling hot often
[Y] Cold extremities (hands and feet)
[Y] Low body temperature (below 97.6)
[N] Low blood pressure (below 110/70)
[Y] Heart palpitations
[Y] Dryness of eyes and/or mouth
[Y] Increased thirst
[Y] Symptoms worsened by temperature changes
[N] Symptoms worsened by air travel
[Y] Symptoms worsened by stress
PAIN
[Y] Headache
[Y] Tender points or trigger points
[Y] Muscle pain
[Y] Muscle twitching
[Y] Muscle weakness
[Y] Paralysis or severe weakness of an arm or leg
[Y] Joint pain
[N] TMJ syndrome
[Y] Chest pain
GENERAL NEUROLOGICAL
[X] Lightheadedness; feeling "spaced out"
[X] Inability to think clearly ("brain fog")
[N] Seizures
[N] Seizure-like episodes
[N] Syncope (fainting) or blackouts
[Y] Sensation that you might faint
[Y] Vertigo or dizziness
[Y] Numbness or tingling sensations
[Y] Tinnitus (ringing in one or both ears)
[Y] Photophobia (sensitivity to light)
[N] Noise intolerance
EQUILIBRIUM/PERCEPTION
[Y] Feeling spatially disoriented
[Y] Dysequilibrium (balance difficulty)
[Y] Staggering gait (clumsy walking; bumping into things)
[Y] Dropping things frequently
[N] Difficulty judging distances (e.g. when driving; placing objects on surfaces)
[Y] "Not quite seeing" what you are looking at
SLEEP
[Y] Hypersomnia (excessive sleeping)
[Y] Sleep disturbance: unrefreshing or non-restorative sleep
[Y] Sleep disturbance: difficulty falling asleep
[Y] Sleep disturbance: difficulty staying asleep (frequent awakenings)
[Y] Sleep disturbance: vivid or disturbing dreams or nightmares
[Y] Altered sleep/wake schedule (alertness/energy best late at night)
MOOD/EMOTIONS
[Y] Depressed mood
[N] Suicidal thoughts
[N] Suicide attempts
[Y] Feeling worthless
[Y] Feeling helpless and/or hopeless
[Y] Frequent crying
[Y] Inability to enjoy previously enjoyed activities
[N] Increased appetite
[Y] Decreased appetite
[Y] Anxiety or fear when there is no obvious cause
[Y] Panic attacks
[Y] Irritability; overreaction
[N] Rage attacks: anger outbursts with little or no cause
[Y] Abrupt, unpredictable mood swings
[N] Phobias (irrational fears)
[Y] Personality changes
EYES AND VISION
[Y] Changes in visual acuity (frequent changes in ability to see well)
[Y] Difficulty with accommodation (switching focus from one thing to another)
[Y] Blind spots in vision
[N] Eye pain
SENSITIVITIES
[N] Sensitivities to medications (unable to tolerate "normal" dosage)
[Y] Sensitivities to odors (e.g., cleaning products, exhaust fumes, colognes, hair sprays)
[Y] Sensitivities to foods
[Y] Alcohol intolerance
[Y] Alteration of taste, smell, and/or hearing
UROGENITAL
[Y] Frequent urination
[Y] Painful urination or bladder pain
[N] Prostate pain
[N] Impotence
[N] Endometriosis
[Y] Worsening of premenstrual syndrome (PMS)
[N] Decreased libido (sex drive)
GASTROINTESTINAL
[Y] Stomach ache; abdominal cramps
[Y] Nausea
[N] Vomiting
[N] Esophageal reflux (heartburn)
[Y] Frequent diarrhea
[Y] Frequent constipation
[Y] Bloating; intestinal gas
[Y] Decreased appetite
[Y] Food cravings
[N] Increased appetite
[Y] Weight gain
SKIN
[Y] Rashes or sores
[N] Eczema or psoriasis
OTHER
[N] Hair loss
[N] Mitral valve prolapse
[N] Cancer
[N] Dental problems
[N] Periodontal (gum) disease
[Y] Aphthous ulcers (canker sores)
COGNITIVE
[Y] Difficulty with simple calculations (e.g., balancing checkbook)
[Y] Word-finding difficulty
[Y] Using the wrong word
[Y] Difficulty expressing ideas in words
[Y] Difficulty moving your mouth to speak
[N] Slowed speech
[Y]Stuttering; stammering
[Y] Impaired ability to concentrate
[Y] Easily distracted during a task
[Y] Difficulty paying attention
[Y] Difficulty following a conversation when background noise is present
[Y] Losing your train of thought in the middle of a sentence
[Y] Difficulty putting tasks or things in proper sequence
[Y] Losing track in the middle of a task (remembering what to do next)
[Y] Difficulty with short-term memory
[Y] Difficulty with long-term memory
[Y] Forgetting how to do routine things
[Y] Difficulty understanding what you read
[Y] Switching left and right
[Y] Transposition (reversal) of numbers, words and/or letters when you speak
[Y] Transposition (reversal) of numbers, words and/or letters when you write
[Y] Difficulty remembering names of objects
[Y] Difficulty remembering names of people
[Y] Difficulty recognizing faces
[Y] Difficulty following simple written instructions
[Y] Difficulty following complicated written instructions
[Y] Difficulty following simple oral (spoken) instructions
[Y] Difficulty following complicated oral (spoken) instructions
[Y] Difficulty making decisions
[N] Poor judgment
[Y] Difficulty integrating information (putting ideas together to form a complete picture or concept)
[Y] Difficulty following directions while driving
[Y] Becoming lost in familiar locations when driving
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